Family Lines Blog - Family Lines and Stories - Patti Gillespie, Genealogist

Choosing a Second Chance

March 27, 2018 By Patti Gillespie Leave a Comment

The Mistake

I’m a big believer in choosing second chances…or more. Being a slightly (or, more truthfully, extremely) stubborn person, I sometimes seem to insist on making a mistake more times than I can count. Then it takes me some time to actually figure out that my choice IS a mistake. Sometimes it takes eons before I begin to comprehend the relationship between my choices and the consequences of these choices.

Blogging feels a lot like that to me. I began naively and enthusiastically blogging. Shortly thereafter my professional year became overabundantly over-filled with clients and committees, Pro-Gen and gen assignments, conferences and community responsibilities. My blog quickly attained the unenviable status on my to-do list as the very last thing I thought of before falling comatose into my bed at night.

I literally chose every single day to put my blog last. The benefit of this mistake? I realized that I missed it, and I wanted a second chance. So, I choose to begin again.

The Choice to Choose

2018 used to be a new year in January, but since it is nearly April, and the year is ¼ through, we could probably agree that 2018 is not actually new any longer. But for my choice to blog again, it is a new year, month and day.

My choice is made, and I will continue (after the one blog I published) to blog about the back stories of genealogists within the genealogy community. I will also continue to blog about the impact of my strange family (after the one published blog) experiences and what used to be referred to as juvenile literature and is now called “young adult” lit. Yes, it is my favorite genre to this day…even at my mature age.

So, here’s to choosing my second chance to blog again…and choosing to enjoy my own voice and views. The twenty-five loyal friends I have that actually read it–be warned! It’s coming!

Join me, won’t you? C’mon, it’ll be fun!

Twisted Twigs on Gnarled Branches: Genealogy with Deidre Erin Denton

March 17, 2017 By Patti Gillespie 1 Comment

5 years ago on social media a sudden influx of genealogy memes appeared that only a genealogist—by trade or by interest—would find funny. These memes then and now share inside jokes that create and fill a unique genealogical niche. Styles have changed a bit and political relevancy has crept in, but there is always that ironic humor to enjoy.

Finding the author

A fan of Twisted Twigs on Gnarled Branches early on and through the years, I couldn’t help but wonder who is the brilliant genea mind behind Twisted Twigs? So I asked.

Deidre Erin Denton cheerfully revealed herself and replied to my request to interview her. We arranged a call time, and my opportunity presented itself to hear the creator’s voice.

A Personal Story

Preferring to be called Deidre Erin, a nice Irish name if ever there was one, I asked her what brought about the birth of the genealogical humor of Twisted Twigs? She shared that she was living with her mother who was suffering from Alzheimer’s. Her parents were divorced with her father in California and brother nearby but struggling with personal issues; she alone cared for her mother. A longtime genealogy researcher, Deidre Erin spent a lot of time at home, on the computer, and involved with genealogy. Her own struggle while living with her mother’s isolating illness developed into a humorous voice for herself and for the genea world.

Today

Five years later Deidre Erin’s mother is now passed away, and “The Detroit Genealogist,” left Michigan. She changed her address, her life, and her memories to take and base her genealogical life and business in the Washington, D. C. area.

Deidre Erin is enthusiastic about her public presence through Twisted Twigs; she sees her memes as a means of “spreading the [genealogical] message. Her memes, in fact, are cloaked in socially embraced humor, and the underlying messages preach pithy principles in a sound bite. Obviously, her message is popular. In 2014 she was followed on Facebook by 15,000, while today Twisted Twigs on Gnarled Branches claims 34,390 likes producing 25-100 emails per day.

Twisted Twigs Genealogy, Deidre Erin’s research company, currently suffers the growing pains of a burgeoning business. While enthusiastic about her own genealogy research, her clients also experience her generous enthusiasm. Continuing to be known as the “GraveyardRabbit” and “Li’l Miss Go Get ‘Em”, researches and acts as a Records Retrieval specialist at the National Archives and Record Administration (NARA) and other repositories in the D. C. area. Increasing her staff is a current priority. She can be reached through her website http://twistedtwigsgenealogy.com/ or her Facebook page of the same name.

Happy 5^th Anniversary, Twisted Twigs on Gnarled Branches—and thank you, Deidre Erin Denton, for all the laughter and learning.

The Common Circumstances of Conference Incivility

February 20, 2017 By Patti Gillespie Leave a Comment

RootsTech 2017 was a wonderful experience; however, I am troubled by evidence of a creeping change of incivility there and at every conference. What was infrequent once is now commonplace.

Incivility is not shown among the conference goers who politely maneuver the halls, stairways, and crowded session rooms, and it is not normally displayed by the speakers. However, in nearly every presentation I attended appeared one or more of the following four common circumstances of incivility.

The first incivility impulsively interrupts the speaker during the presentation. The Interrupter deems that the action of interrupting is more important than the speaker’s time or the audience’s desire. The Interrupter’s greatest damage may be inculcating inexperienced genealogists that this behavior is acceptable.

The second incivility builds on the first: the interrupter becomes a venter. The Venter not only detracts but steals precious moments, maybe minutes, to vent his or her passions about a related (or unrelated topic) in the field. The polite speaker waits for a moment to move on, the polite audience is left waiting for the Venter’s passion to implode, while the Venter is left free to control all but himself.

The third incivility is far more insidious; it creates doubt without the time to amend or correct. This incivility is enacted by the Corrector. The Corrector will publicly disagree with the speaker, perhaps even citing another authority, to point out a flaw in the presentation or to argue with a comment. With limited time—even desire—the presenter moves on leaving the Corrector to feel a sense of victory and identity.

The last incivility is a rampant action. The Snapper takes screenshots uninvited, unwarranted, and repetitively. Imagine, then, the Snapper, raising the device, blocking the view of those behind him. Despite the fact that no permission has been given and that the speaker is looking annoyed, the Snapper plows on. Despite the fact that the entire Power Point presentation is included as an attachment. And despite that fact that his or her screen becomes the shortest endpoint to those sitting behind him or her…again and again.

As a conference goer and as a fledgling speaker, I emplore all speakers to consider doing what Angela McGhie did so beautifully at RootsTech 2017. She took 1 minute before the presentation began and addressed most politely these issues; she is the only speaker I attended to prevent these presentation problems.

Let the speakers educate the attenders; let the attenders become educated; let the common circumstances of incivilities stop now. Will we not all be the better for it?

Considering Family in the Family Photo

February 5, 2017 By Patti Gillespie 1 Comment

It is such a wonderful experience sharing memories of our loving family members and remembering an event! It’s even wonderful watching others share their joys.

But sometimes family photos bring more complicated emotions than happiness. Not everyone has a happy family or has happy memories of family life; it seems most of us have mixed memories of happiness and unhappiness, fear and bravery, brokenness and healing. Or something even darker.

This photo shows my mother and my father. Don’t they look all grown up in their 1950’s make-up and attire? My mother is seated; my father is standing and cutting the cake. They are seated in Don’s home with his father and step-mother looking on, his half-sisters stand round and his brother with his hand on Marion’s shoulder. Marion and Don are viewing the celebratory high school graduation cake in 1954 together in his family’s home.

After graduation, there is a year of college for both. The Autumn of 1955 is followed by Spring and me. With no father. My mother has no husband, no provider, no in-laws, no child support, and no cake. Well, she does have cake sometimes. Even her father evicted her.

But this photo also brings me peace. I didn’t know that my mother had a relationship with my father that included his family. I have few photos of her, and I love to look at how beautiful she is.

That little girl standing in her robe looking at the cake with less than enthusiasm grows up to be someone who welcomes me into her life. My father’s half-sister is my half-aunt, but I call her my aunt. We connected carefully on Ancestry when I started my tree, then we graduated to telephone; we met in August 2015 for a weekend.

After returning home, Aunt Linda, despite being busy with life, dug around until she found this photo and shared it with me.

So… this photo of such a complicated relationship and lack of relationship still brings me sadness–but it also brings me more. My aunt gave me a gift of her time and her love, and that brings me happiness.

Even if life doesn’t work the way we want or the way we think it should, there is still a chance that we will find family who care. May someone provide you a family photo, if you need one, someday.

Patti Gillespie, The Gen Lady

All Research Begins with “Me”

January 18, 2017 By wiseadmin 4 Comments

Reading stories was my main interest in life as a child, and as an only child with alcoholic parents I had a great deal of time on my hands. Reading the compassionate Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss out loud from cover to cover before I was 5 years old remains a favorite memory. Shortly thereafter I was able to inhale all picture books available to me before I was 6 and begin chapter books before I was 7. By the time I was 12, I was reading Russian and French literature with their themes of hopelessness, revenge, and religious repression.

These same works of literature created an understanding in me that impacts my genealogical work today: people are complicated. I find that humanity is indeed courageous and sordid, innocent and cowardly, noble and muddled. Fast forward to a mature adulthood and I realized that I am no different from this humanity, and that I, too, am complicated and full of contradictions.

Consequently, accepting my own complexity truly prepares me to be a family historian and a genealogical researcher: I am too flawed to judge, but I am not too blind to see. We each have a personal story to tell with a familial story to tell of present and past, courage and virtue, sacrifice and selfishness. Understanding this when I research, I do not take that famous broad brush and paint an individual villain or victim, but, instead, I use a pencil with an eraser writing of a life from the uncovered facts—while accepting that I cannot know all the facts and factors or all the motivations behind our life choices.

For example, when I began researching why my family seemed so broken, I was much younger and still too damaged by the choices of my ancestors. Years later when I had finished raising a very strong-willed, large, and complicated family amidst plenty of parenting mistakes, I had a different perspective on runaway mothers, absentee fathers and generations of alcoholism. I cannot deny that I could have done better, but I did the best I understood—and that is now part of my life story.

Genealogical storytelling, I believe, is about discovering information through reliable documentation and putting it into humanitarian context; I believe that it is about celebrating with those who succeed, sorrowing for the broken, and rejoicing for those who keep trying.

So let all the stories of celebration, sorrow, rejoicing, and complexity begin here at Family Lines and Stories. Today.

Patti Gillespie, The Gen Lady

Choosing a Second Chance

Twisted Twigs on Gnarled Branches: Genealogy with Deidre Erin Denton

The Common Circumstances of Conference Incivility

Considering Family in the Family Photo

All Research Begins with “Me”

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